ADDICTED TO LOVE? HOMEOPATHY CAN HELP…
By Mary Aspinwall, ISHom, PCH Registered Homeopath
In the immortal words of the late great Roy Orbison:
“Love hurts, love scars
Love wounds, and mars any heart
Not tough or stong enough
To take a lot of pain, take a lot of pain
Love is like a cloud, holds a lot of rain
Love hurts......ooh, ooh love hurts
Be prepared!
So as Valentine’s Day looms, forgive the focus on
the dysfunctional if you are still in the heady throes of
a fine romance with loadsa kissing. If you want to make
like a good girl or boyscout, just cut this out and save
it for a rainy day. Homeopathy can provide invaluable emotional
first aid when things go awry.
Who you gonna call?
When the illusions hit the fan, chances are you’ll
be invoking St Ignatius of Loyola, rather than St Valentine
(photos of the two saints) as the man most likely to be
of service. St Ignatius was the founder of the Jesuits and
it was this self-same Jesuit order that imported a deadly
poisonous plant (very attractive worth a photo) from the
Phillipines used locally in the manufacture of poisonous
darts. For reasons best known to them, they named the bean
of it after their boss. The seeds inside St Ignatius beans
were frequently used as a cheap strychnine substitute, just
a fraction of an ounce was enough to produce muscle spasms,
painful convulsions and even death by suffocation.
Poisons are made for proving
Many of the first substances to be turned into homeopathic
medicines were poisons,
so it is not surprising, being such a deadly toxin, that
proving Ignatia was top of Hahnemann’s to-do-list
and it was subsequently published by him in his Materia
Medica Pura (1821-34).
Ignatia is one of our most important medicines
when love disappoints. It is often prescribed after
the break up of a relationship, particularly the first true
love, or a sudden bereavement, particularly when someone
experiences huge volatility of moods and they literally
don’t know whether to laugh or cry. This contradictory
aspect or Ignatia is seen in the physical conundrums of
the proving: indigestion that is relieved by eating, or
a sore throat that is better for swallowing solid food.
There are big swings in appetite, too, from complete aversion
to binging.
Think of Ignatia when there has been an extreme emotional
shock or grief that leads to hysteria, insomnia, self-pity
or a complete sense of disbelief. Symptoms to watch out
for are a heightened sensitivity to pain, with a tendency
to twitch, feel faint, yawn, sigh, or hiccup frequently.
Other key notes are the Ignatia headache, with the sensation
that a nail had been driven into the head or a lump sensation
in the throat that is better for swallowing.
An acute Ignatia case
James was 33 when he returned from working abroad, just
before Christmas, to find that his wife of three years had
left the family home taking their two year old son with
her.
She refused to have any contact with him and asked for a
divorce. James had had no idea their marriage was in such
deep trouble and his reaction was one of overwhelming disbelief.
Through out our interview he kept repeating over and over
“I don’t believe it” and occasionally
laughed, as he shook his head in complete bewilderment.
He seemed utterly exhausted and kept yawning thoughout.
I prescribed a high dose Ignatia (10m) and he contacted
me soon after to say he was feeling much better, he repeated
the medicine over the following six weeks, whenever the
feeling of shock and disbelief returned.
Natrum muriaticum to follow?
The great American homeopath, James Tyler Kent noted that:
“In a mental state where Ignatia temporarily benefits
the symptoms, but does not cure … Natrum muriaticum
should be given." In his Lectures on Homeopathic Materia
Medica he elaborated on a typical situation calling for
Natrum muriaticum: "Unrequited affection brings on
complaints. She is unable to control her affections and
falls in love with a married man. She knows that it is foolish,
but lies awake with love for him. She falls in love with
a coachman (this was much frowned and definitely not the
thing to do unless you were from below stairs yourself).
She knows that she is unwise, but cannot help it. In cases
of this kind Natrum muriaticum will turn her mind into order,
and she will look back and wonder why she was so silly.”
Why indeed? The key thing about choosing a man who is completely
unavailable, is that you can swoon endlessly about your
impossible, star-crossed, never-to be-affair and, in some
perverse way, quite enjoy it! Lots of fuss without the muss…
Confirmatory symptoms for Natrum muriaticum include a desire
for salt, strong thirst, dry mucous membranes with a tendency
for their (stiff upper and lower) lips to crack in the middle
and a tendency to feel worse by the sea or in the sun. In
fact they are so sensitive to the sun that it can bring
on cold sores. Unlike those needing Ignatia they are very
private people and so are less likely to confide in anyone
about their heartache.
A case of Natrum muriaticum
I once mentioned to an older woman I met at a social gathering
that I was a homeopath. She suddenly became very animated
and told me the story of how Homeopathy had “saved
her”. She had been married, very happily, for almost
fifty years when her husband died suddenly. She was terribly
shocked and saddened and completely withdrew into herself,
feeling life was no longer worth living. She continued to
feel like this for two years, until one day a friend, who
was concerned for her well-being suggested she take Natrum
muriaticum within a few days of taking a single dose her
feelings of grief completely lifted and she recaptured her
former joie de vivre.
Phosphoric acid
Another medicine helpful in cases of prolonged grief or
unrequited love that do not fully recover after Ignatia
is Phosphoric acid (particularly if accompanied by sleepiness,
night sweats and emaciation). Think of the tubercular heroine
pining away slowly until she has become a pale, exhausted
shadow of her former self.
This is not really a look likely to win your lover back.
The materia medica tells tragic tales of hair falling out
or turning gray; of weakness and apathy; of being prone
to persistent diarrhoea, but strangely ing the better for
it. There may also be a craving for juicy, refreshing things
like fruit.
Antimonium crudum
Sentimental, romantic people who are greatly moved by the
light of the moon or (in the old days) were partial to standing
beneath stained glass windows. They love to talk in rhymes
or recite verses. They have a tendency to idealise and fantasise
about the object of their affections to the point where
others have difficulty recognising their beloved one at
all.
When things turn sour they feel sleepy and weary to the
point where they loathe life and may even contemplate suicide.
A case of Antimonium crudum (nice photo of someone looking
mooney in the moonlight!)
Angela had a kind and loving partner, but unfortunately
she was still in love with another man, with whom she had
had an affair a few years earlier. She idolised her ex even
though she could see, in her more rational moments, that
her current partner was by far the better man of the two.
The ex was by now living with a new partner and there seemed
little chance of a reunion with Angela. Both I and another
homeopath wracked our brains over her medicine. We tried
Ignatia, Natrum muriaticum, Salmon (because she was convinced
he was her “soul mate” a word the Salmon provers
used frequently) and Cygnus Cygnus (Swan, a great remedy
for deep grief upon loss of a life partner) all to no avail.
In the end, because of her tendency to always see him,
undeservedly, in the best possible light I gave her Antimonium
crudum and it really helped. Suddenly, after two years of
misery she was able to enjoy life again, went on a long
holiday and started a new college course.
Aurum metallicum
Sometimes when someone is not in the best of mental health
a relationship break up or business failure can be the final
straw that drives them to contemplate or attempt suicide.
This is sickness at a very deep level where the love of
life is completely lost and replaced by total and utter
despair. One of the medicines that a homeopath might choose
in a situation such as this is Aurum metallicum.
Those needing Aurum are often full of self-reproach and
see themselves as abject failures.This is no small measure
due to the extremely high standards they tend to set for
themselves. Often they imagine they have somehow neglected
their duty and that the failure of their love affair is
entirely their responsibility. They may swing from deep
tortured silence to great anger and violence when roused.
How Homeopathy could have made the attraction less
fatal!
So far all the medicines we have looked at have turned their
lovesickness in on themselves. However, there is another
category of the lovelorn and ever since Glenn Close’s
terrifying portrayal of Alex Forrest as “the woman
scorned” in Fatal Attraction they have become known
colloquially as “Bunnyboilers” (Please don’t
ask, I’m squeamish …just get the DVD and a cushion
to hide behind Not to be sexist here, let it be duly noted
that men scorned are no picnic either. In such instances,
there are particular homeopathic medicines that are better
suited to those who feel they are mad as hell and they’re
not going to take it anymore.
If I were a betting woman (and in truth I did spend much
of my childhood at the horse races) my money would have
been on Hyoscyamus as the medicine Alex Forrest was in deperate
need of. Naturally Michael Douglas’s hapless, faithless
husband could not have given it to her as it would have
wrecked the dramatic tension and killed the box office.
Hyoscyamus
Is often needed in cases of jealous rage. Constantine Hering
another great American homeopath, from the days of yore,
described the state of someone needing this medicine as:
“Very suspicious. Reproaches others, complains of
supposed injury done him.Quarrelsomeness; indomitable rage.
Loves smutty talk. Frequently breaks out into a loud laugh.
Scolds; raves; abuses those about him.Cries and laugh alternately,
gesticulations lively. Does foolish things, behaves like
one mad. Fears: being left alone; being betrayed.”
OK so it doesn’t have irresistible urge to cook family
pet, but everthing else, I feel, is pretty well covered.
A case of Hyoscyamus
A few years ago a woman Jeanette came to see me. She had
recently separated acrimoniously from her husband and she
was enraged by his repeatedly thoughtless, hurtful behavior
towards both her and their very young child. She described
herself as over and over as“raging”, so much
so that she was “climbing the walls”. She also
said “I could kill him” several times. I noticed
she was picking invisible bits of fluff off her clothing.
Hyoscyamus has the key note of “picking at the bedclothes”
and has the delusion of “climbing up” and the
desire to climb and to kill. Very often these clues in what
is called the “simple language” of the client,
the things they say repeatedly (and indeed almost unconsciously)
and “simple gestures” point to their true feelings.
I gave her Hyoscyamus, repeated whenever needed, over quite
a long period and now she is getting on with and enjoying
her own life. She is totally oblivious of her ex-husband’s
antics. Another medicine with jealousy, rage and a desire
to kill is:
Lachesis
In a 1932 issue of the journal Homeopath, Dr. Margaret Tyler
describes a chilling case:
“A young woman suffering from insane jealousy of her
husband. She was always looking at herself in the glass,
because she said her face had changed. She was always peeping
through the little window into their shop, to see what her
husband was doing; whether he was flirting with the shop
girl. Phos. helped her a little, then not. She got pretty
bad, was caught with a razor; came down into the shop in
her night - dress; tried to do all sorts of extraordinary
and mad things. They followed me about in despair about
her: she was not safe. We discussed her case, and the doctor
I was working with picked out the main symptoms, jealousy
and suspicion, and of course she got Lachesis. I think she
needed a second dose a month later. And then she bloomed
into her old self, smiling and happy, all the trouble forgotten,
and she had remained well seven years later…”
Now, after all this focus on the dysfunctional you will
be thinking I have not a romantic bone in my body, a charge
I strenuously deny and to prove it let us finish on a high
note…
Can you feel the force?
The lovely Marie Mélanie d’Hervilly-Gohier
was just 35 years old when, disguised as a man, she traveled
from her native Paris to Saxony in search of Samuel Hahnemann,
the founder of Homeopathy. She met Hahnemann, a reclusive
widower in his late seventies, in October 1834 and after
a whirlwind three month courtship she had gone from being
his patient and student, to being his wife. They left for
Paris together in June 1835 where they lived and worked
together happily for nine years. Melanie was overwhelmed
with grief at his passing, but threw herself back into the
homeopathic practice they had run together. After a legal
battle she became the first woman ever to openly practice
medicine in the West.
Intrigued? You can read the full story in:
A Homeopathic Love Story: The Story of Samuel and Melanie
Hahnemann
By Rima Handley, FSHom
ISBN 1556430493
Parting thoughts
“There is no remedy for love but to love
more.”
Thoreau
“I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was
either in love or I had smallpox.”
Woody Allen
“Like the measles, love is most dangerous
when it comes late in life.”
Lord Byron
